Loss

T'is the silence that's deafening

when the baby is born

into the midwives arms.

Warm, but still. No breath.

The mourning begins, as

the tears flow

for this sweet, sweet child

who is born into this world.

But not unto this life. This time.

T'is the silence that's deafening

as the bitter sweet tears roll down

the mothers cheeks.

And the fathers eyes; so empty, so sad. So sad.

The babe, swaddled and caressed. Perfect.

So real, yet so out of reach.

Not to be part of this world. This time.

T'is the silence that hurts

and the empty arms that ache.

Along with a heart - breaking.

Grieving

For a son, a daughter

A child

A life

A love.

Not this time.

Not yet.

Angela.

For Vincent. Born 28 December 2011.

For River. Born 20 July 2011.

For all the babies born as angels.

Love, labour and loss

I have always told people that that hardest thing in the world is becoming a parent: I was wrong. The hardest thing in the world is to become a parent, yet be unable to feel the warmth and love of your child, or be able to hold her in your arms on the dark days when parenting can seem all too consuming.

As a midwife, I am in the hugely privileged position of being with a couple as they make their journey to becoming parents and a family; it is a role I do not take lightly, but hold protected in my heart, honoured to be walking the path with them.

This last month, my mothers' heart has felt such pain, and I have been humbled to see the beauty and grace in which my clients birthed their baby and welcomed her into their arms. I left this new family with such a deep sadness; a midwife facilitates birth and helps to bring life into the world, and yet on this occasion that was not within my capacity; their beautiful precious daughter's soul was not to come earthside as she had died a few days earlier. We new this as we waited to meet her.

I was truly blessed to be part of their journey and continue to be so; I send you love and light,
Forever in my heart
Angela